Why You’re Being Selfish By Not Sharing Your Story

SHINE YOUR DAMN LIGHT!

We all have a story to share.

Your story IS worth sharing.

Sharing a weakness, and how you deal with it, can help someone.

Sharing a story about how you overcame a difficult time in your life, can help someone currently going through a similar struggle.

Sharing a story about how you beat an addiction, can give someone the inspiration and/or strength they need.

Your words matter.

Your story matters.

Your words, at the right time, can reach the right person, and have a MASSIVE impact on them.

Just last week, I shared a post in our Dadpreneur FB group about imposter syndrome (feeling like a fraud). It’s something I deal with, and many others do as well.

Last night, a fellow Dadpreneur, left a comment on my post. We both grew up in the same town, however, I have not had the privilege to meet him, yet.

Here is what he wrote…

 

 

 

This made my night last night.

It was exactly what I needed to hear/read, and came from someone who I have a ton of
respect for, and look up to.

Ironically, it was a post I was nervous to share. It seems the posts that I hesitate to post (nervous/scared/embarrassed/whatever) are the ones that seem to be the most impactful.

Vulnerability is powerful.

Your words matter.

Your story matters.

Brene Brown said

Owning our story can be hard, but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it

Act as a lighthouse, and always shine your light.

Share your wins & your losses, your ups & your downs.

You never know who’s watching, or the lives you could be impacting.

And one could argue, you’re being selfish by not sharing your story.

UPDATE: Ironically, I sent this out as an email, and received a reply from lady thanking me for the email, and letting me know it was an “email she needed to read after a long day at her corporate job”.

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5 Mentors Who Transformed My Life That I Am Forever Grateful For

Quick question for you…

Do you want to shortcut your way to success?

Exactly what I thought, lets get started…

So, I got started with online marketing in 2010.

Some ups, a shit ton of downs, some shysters, and some damn good people I met along the way. I say “met” as I have not actually met these people in person. Some I have, most I have not. That is one of the coolest things about this is that you can build solid friendships with people online, without meeting them. I have some great friends I’ve never met before.

I used to think mentors were people I had to pay money to.

Per Google, here is the definition…

I wanted to put together a list of men, who I follow online, who have helped me become a better man, Dad, son, brother, entrepreneur, friend & person.

There are a lot of shitheads online who are out for one thing — your money

These 5 men, 2 who I’ve met in person, are men I admire, follow, trust & am forever grateful for.

Now, I have learned from many people over the years, these are the ones that continue teaching me things, and ones I recommend you at least check out.

This list of men is in alphabetical order.

Without further adieu, lets get started….

Andy Frisella

I came across Andy’s podcast The MFCEO a little over a year ago. It is, by far, the absolute best podcast on the Interwebs.

And it’s not even close.

Now, this isn’t to say that others are bad, it’s just the message, and Andy’ style, speaks to my soul. Often, I listen to episodes multiples times. Some I have listened to 5 or 6 times. It is that good.

If you’re interested to in getting fire spit in your ears twice a week, subscribe to his podcast here.

Andy is the CEO of 1st Phorm, a supplement company based in St. Louis, Missouri. The podcast is a mission, a passion project of his, and doesn’t generate any revenue. Shit, he rarely even mentions 1st Phorm. No sponsors, no programs or coaching to sell. It’s him (Vaughn & Tyler) talking about how hard work, dedication, honesty & adding value is how to live a good life.

It’s called the MFCEO, but it’s about being the CEO of YOUR life, so don’t think you have to be an entrepreneur to get value from it.

Why You Should Follow Him

If you want the truth on how to be successful, Andy is the one to follow. Since he’s not selling anything via his podcast, which is so rare, it’s like you instantly trust him because there is no hidden agenda. The man is so inspirational.

Ben Adkins

Ben is the guy I have been following the longest, on this list. He’s one of 2 (on this list men) that I have met in person.

It was 2012, there was an internet marketing conference here in Las Vegas at a hotel just off the strip. Ben was a guy I really wanted to meet, along with a few others. The week before the event, I shot personal videos and sent them to 6 or 7 individuals that were going to be at the event. A quick 15-20 seconds video letting them know that I was looking forward to meeting them at the upcoming event.

I’ll never forget it, it was Friday evening, and there was a little mixer before the event. I remember getting there a bit early as I was excited to meet some friends, who I had not met in person. Conferences are always fun as you can be online friends with people for years before actually meeting them in real life.

Ben was standing against the wall, chatting with some people. I walked in the vicinity of them, Ben spotted me, and yelled out, “Adam, come here!”

He knew my name.

Because of the video I sent him.

He recognized me. 

He referenced the video and said that was a cool way to get someone’s attention. And it obviously worked, and something I highly recommend if you’re going to a conference, no matter the industry.

It worked so well, that another speaker at the event (Brad Spencer), mentioned me in his presentation. He was someone I had never met, but sent him a video as well. In his presentation, he talked about how cool of an idea it was that I sent him a personal video. In fact, he referred to it as “The Adam Dukes Effect”. He shared this at other events that he spoke at.

Anywho…

Ben is a guy that is so damn good at simplifying things. A lot of marketers (read: most) tend to overcomplicate things. He has a gift of explaining things and breaking them down into shockingly simple steps. Extremely refreshing. The guy has a heart of gold, and is just a damn good person.

Why You Should Follow Him

A man of integrity, and a masterful marketer. There is so much to learn from him from just watching him. I have invested in his training programs over the years, and it’s always been worth every penny.

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Ben Settle

Arguably, the best email marketer in all of Internetland. And like the other Ben, he keeps things brain dead simple. Again, very refreshing.

Ben has a podcast (listen here), The BenSettle.com Podcast that he publishes every Sunday. It is better than most paid courses, as he teaches the timeless principles of marketing. Ben doesn’t talk about flashy, sexy new hacks or tactics. He refers to the methods as “unpolished, unsexy”, but they have worked for 50+ years. They may not seem exciting, or new age, but they are effective. And that’s what matters.

He emails his database DAILY, which in the internet marketing world, is unheard of. It sticks out like a fart in church, a phrase he uses often. He’s the reason why I email daily, or aim to.

Why You Should Follow Him

If you want sound marketing principles, anti-feminism & humor sprinkled in, he’s your guy.

Mitch Miller

This is a guy I discovered last summer, and am glad I found him.

His no bullshit, give you the straight truth attitude is so damn refreshing. I’m such a fan, I posted on Facebook recently that people should start following him, which I have never done. His posts, I actually search for.

His copywriting is some of the best I’ve seen online.

An absolute master at positioning, and I am learning that that is the way to  skyrocket your way to success.

Why You Should Follow Him

If you’re interested in some of the best FREE advice online,  how to position yourself as the absolute go to person in your industry, charge premium prices for your services, and be looked at as a leader, follow this man.

Kevin Nations

This is a guy who lives down the street from me. By that, I mean he’s a Vegas local.

The picture above, was at his birthday in 2014.

I reached out to his girlfriend, Melissa, as I knew his birthday was coming up. I asked her what his favorite restaurant was as I wanted to send him a little birthday gift. She then asked, “do you want to give it to him in person?”

I fell off my chair.

Melissa invited me to their home for a birthday party with family, friends and clients.

I jumped at the opportunity, even though I had never met Kevin, Melissa, or anyone else at the party. The above picture was taken about 5 minutes after I arrived.

This was Kevin’s party, and he honestly made me feel like I belonged there. He made me feel  that he was more excited I was there, than the other way around. I assure you, that was not the case. He told me how grateful he was for me spending my Monday evening with him and family. A very genuine man.

Why You Should Follow Him

He is the mentor to mentors. He’s been teaching people how to sell high ticket for 10+ years, which is unheard of in our space. His Facebook posts are filled with wisdom. He’s taught me the importance of being grateful for a lot of things, I would have taken for granted.

Conclusion

Just a massive amount of gratitude for these 5 men. They have all taught me so much over the years, and continue doing so.

Originally, this post had 9 men listed, but the post was getting a bit long (1,500 words), so I am breaking it into two parts. Stay tuned for a future post of another list of men to follow online.

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A FREE $18,000 Marketing Tip For You

Pretty much the dance I make when I save $18,800.

Or better yet: The dance I would make if I were saving $18,800.

Anwyho…

This little golden nugget comes from Mr. Dan Kennedy.

If you are not familiar with him, he’s one of the top marketing experts in the world. He’s been in the industry for decades

Over the weekend, I came across a blog post about a guy who invested in a ONE day consulting session with Mr. Kennedy.

An $18,800 investment, and this was years ago.

I’ve heard it’s now closer to 6 figures to sit with him for a day now.

Which got me thinking….about time to raise my prices

Anywho…

His #1 takeaway, and an exact quote from Dan himself, was…

“Your growth will have less to do with your talent, your skill, your expertise or your deliverables than it will your ability and willingness to create and exploit your own status.”

We’ve all heard it before, that people don’t necessarily buy WHAT you do, but they buy WHO you are.

They buy YOU!

Ask yourself…

  • How are you positioned in your marketplace?
  • Are you looked at as a thought leader?
  • Are you viewed as a “celebrity” in your niche/industry?

And I know what you’re thinking…

What’s the FASTEST way to achieve this?

It goes back to my email from yesterday, about getting specific with who you serve.

Being a big fish in a small pond is MUCH easier than being a small fish in a big pond.
And you can eventually “branch out”, but you need to start small.

You want to play in puddles, NOT oceans.

For example, my tribe (mostly) consists of entrepreneurs/online marketers (a wide niche), who are males (narrowed down more), who are also Dads (narrowed down even more).

For the first time in 7 years, my target market is myself.

Like I said yesterday, empathy is the most important word in marketing.

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Are You Making This Business Crippling Mistake?

Do as I say…not as I did. 

I got started with online marketing in 2010. 

And I have made just about every mistake in the book. 

Some twice. 

And some 391 times. 

I is a slooowwww learner. 

I share these emails with you, to hopefully prevent you from making the same mistakes that I did/still do. 

This is something most (98.3%) online marketers struggle with when getting started. Really, I see it across most industries, not just online marketers. 

For some, it takes years to figure out how this one thing can TRANSFORM a business.

When I got started in 2010, I offered just about every digital marketing service out there and would talk to any business owner who would listen.

Pretty sure I talked to some that weren’t willing to listen 😀

It didn’t go well. 

Kinda like this….

Anywhoo….

It
 took me a couple years (remember I is sloooow) to discover that the “jack of all trades master of none” was not a good way to put the green stuff in my piggybanks.

In 2012-ish, I started narrowing my focus to attorneys (because they can afford these services, right?). My “foot in the door” service was a mobile website, and called this the “Trojan Horse Method”.

Once I earned their trust after selling them a mobile website, we’d discuss other areas they needed help. Often times, this included SEO, which was a monthly retainer 💰💰💰

This worked well, but after 18 or so months, I pivoted to offering FB advertising to real estate agents.

Not just real estate agents, but Keller Williams agents.

Not just KW agents, but MALE KW agents.

Male KW agents who were 35 – 50.

I niched down (real estate), then I niched down again (KW), then I niched down again (males).

After speaking with a few KW agents, I started learning some of their internal systems, how they were taught to market, some of the marketing messages they used, etc.

This was HUGE for me, as I was able to leverage this “insider information”in future conversations with KW agents. I knew what was working for others, I knew that KW pushed cold calling, I knew the name of their internal marketing system, and started learning the common struggles of these agents.

Per Facebook, there are about 11k male KW agents in the 35 – 50 year old age range. Most marketers would think “that is too small”, but that’s exactly what you want.
It’s MUCH easier to make a big splash in a small puddle.

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The most powerful word in marketing is: EMPATHY

You want to speak to your markets’ pain points, struggles, wants, needs, dreams & desires.

You want them nodding their head and thinking…”this guy gets me…”

You cannot do that when you’re targeting everyone.

“When you try to be everything to everyone, you are nothing to everyone”

This also served as my USP (Unique Selling Proposition), as I never found another marketer who specialized working with male KW agents.

I was basically a “category of ONE”, virtually eliminating my competition.

In tomorrow’s email, I am going to share with you a $18,800 marketing lesson. 

Don’t worry, I am not going to send you a bill for it. The tip is absolutely free. 

However, I do accept payments in Dairy Queen blizzard coupons and/or pizza. 

Surprise me, maybe?

How Admitting Flaws Can Increase Trust & Boost Sales

The word opportunity has been ruined for me.

If you know me, you know I am not a fan of the MLM industry. Nothing personal against anyone, I just hate how 97.3% of them “market” the opportunity.

And it’s taught by the higher ups, so it’s noat the person who is just getting started.

A lot of their “marketing” comes off as spam, desperation, and I have seen some people flat out lie.

The other day, a buddy of mine posted a message he received. It was from a lady who withdrew a truckload of monies from her bank, recorded a video and claimed that is what she made in first week with the company.

The video was viewed MILLIONS of times, as it went viral, and this lady made tens of thousands of dollars.

She was asking my buddy how to market herself, as this way died off. He was not happy with what she did, called her out, and she told him that si what she was taught to do.

Eeek!

That is why I am not a fan of the industry,

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Anywho…

My sister just joined one.

Plexus is the company, and according to their website, Plexus — The delicious, power-packed health drink your body has been waiting for. Feed your gut with beneficial prebiotics, support a healthy glucose metabolism, and lose weight — all with one great-tasting drink

I told her I am willing to test it out, and see how/if it works for me.

Considering summer is right around the corner, shedding a few lbs wouldn’t hurt.

I like pizza too much.

And ice cream.

And cookies.

And donuts.

And candy.

And cheeseburgers.

And S’mores granola bars.

Ok, you get it…

Amanda and I started taking it on Sunday, and we both have sore throats. Amanda also has lower back pains.

I went to the Google machine as I originally thought I was coming down with something, but sore throat is one of the side effects, as is lower back pain.

I landed on a site, that was promoting the product. However, the owner of the website was not only talking about the benefits of the product, but also shared the downsides/side effects, it can cause.

This blog post stuck out like these millennials that think it’s cool wearing hoodies & a beanie in this 100 degree desert heat.

All the other blog posts that were promoting it were touting how amazing the product is, and the best thing since sliced bread. No mentions of the downsides.

This blog post was honest & was real, and I instantly trusted this person.

If I were looking to buy Plexus, and while doing research found this site, this would be the person I would buy from.

Some of the many benefits of pointing out the flaws in your product or service are..

  • Instantly build credibility & trust
  • Virtually eliminate your competitionmost are too scared to do this
  • Shows extreme confidence in your product or service

We all know that ‘perfect’ doesn’t exist, well, besides when someone describes my grilled cheese makin’ skillz….

The Scary Risk of Building a Facebook Group

Another one bites the dust…

Years ago, Annie, my sister, recorded a message on our answering machine to the tune of that song, but remixed it with Another one calls the Dukes.

And another one calls, and another one calls, and another one calls the Dukes…

Unfortunately, we never saved the recording, but laughs were had by all.

Anywho

This morning when I woke up, I saw a fellow marketer posting on Facebook that his FB group was mysteriously deleted late last night.

This group was 15,000+ members, was very active, and a lot of value was shared. A lot of newer marketers in the group, and I enjoyed giving my raw, uncut advice.

He is trying to find out who reported the group to Facebook for a violation of something. Apparently, it was a group of people who reported it.

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Will he get it back?

I have no idea.

It’s possible, but I have heard this happen to others.

It’s not common, but it CAN happen.

That is why it’s risky putting all your eggs in one basket.

Zuckerberg & company can snatch it away from you like a bully snatches candy away from the young lad on the playground at school.

You MUST build your business on something you own — a blog, an email list, etc.

Your YouTube subscribers, a FB group, your Twitter followers, your Instagram following can be shut down, with no questions asked, at anytime.

I am not sure how many of the 15k members are on his email list, but hopefully he’s got a “backup”.

Let this be a lesson, and an import one, that building your business on someone else’s playground can be risky business.

Facebook groups are great, and I have one of my own, but ALWAYS try and get as many members on your email list, as this is something you control.

The 3 Cs for Online Marketing Success

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.”

Tony Robbins

So you want to be viewed as the ‘go to’ expert, huh?

The leader in your marketplace?

This is how you do it…

Creating content is essential to your online success. Whether you’re an attorney, a plumber, a real estate agent, in network marketing, or an online marketer selling digital products and/or coaching.

It really doesn’t matter. You need to be putting out content consistently. I don’t care if it is a blog, Facebook updates, a YouTube channel, a podcast or a daily email.

Creating content is how you become the obvious choice in your marketplace.

About a month ago, a guy by the name of Dan Meredith released a training on how to explode your busienss with your personal Facebook profile.

Dan has built a million dollar online business with his personal Facebook profile and a very active FB group. So he’s one to model.

He outlined his content strategy, and it was extremely aggressive from what I was doing, which was trying to post once/day.

Simply not enough.

They say something like only 16% of your friends/followers will even see your posts. Even if you were to post 3x a day, you’d be lucky if half your people see the posts.

Dan consistently posts 3x per day. I am attempting to adopt his strategy.

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Here is my current strategy for Facebook….

  • A business post where I share a lesson/tip
  • A family/funny post, or sharing someone else’s post with some thoughts of my own
  • A video — this is where I am struggling

I have certainly increased my content production, but am nowhere near perfect on this.

Since implementing the above strategy, I have had 4 people I went to high school reach out to me. I graduated in 2000, and 3 of these people I have not spoke to since graduation, so 17+ years.

Writing that was not easy — slow down, time.

Anywho….

I have had 2 others reach out about developing a marketing strategy for their business.

This should prove to you the power of producing content. In the last month, people are seeking my advice on marketing strategy, positioning, Facebook advertising & optimizing their current marketing.

Consistency, in whatever you do, is crucial to get you to where you want to go.

Pick one platform and start creating content, consistently. These are the 3 Cs for online marketing success.

Do what comes natural to you.

If you like to write like I do, start a blog, a daily email, post more frequently on Facebook/Instagram/LinkedIn/wherever.

If you have a face for radio (always loved that joke), start a podcast.

If you enjoy doing video, start a YouTube channel, or post Facebook/Instagram videos.

Just start.

Is This Holding YOU Back?

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It’s something that has held me back for years, and just recently, I got caught up in it…again.

What I am talking about….

playing single deck blackjack down on the strip at 2 am on a Tuesday…

…is listening to the opinions of others.

A couple weeks ago I read a post in a Facebook group about a Dad that was using Instagram live videos & photos of his day as a Dadprenuer, and then using an app (Quik app — quickly becoming one of my absolute favorite apps) to create a slideshow of his day.

He went on to explain that he shared this “slideshow video” to Instagram, Facebook stories and his personal Facebook profile at the end of the day.

In 30 days, he picked up some client work and booked a speaking gig.

A lot of your Facebook friends probably don’t know what you do, I know a lot of my friends have no idea what I do, as I don’t talk about it much.

So, I decided to follow this Dad’s lead and experiment with doing the same. At first, I mixed in photos of the kids with videos of myself working/thoughts of the day/lessons learned/etc.

Then…

I started listening to the opinions of others.

My Mom told me I looked “extremely stressed” in the videos.

She also told me that my sister said that I looked “old & tired”.

That stung, I am not going to lie, but glad they told me. I prefer the truth, as oppose to some bullshit lie, even though the truth can hurt. Not nearly as bad as a lie though.

Today, I posted episode #11, but have not been doing videos of myself, because of what my Mom shared with me.

Since I started doing these slideshow videos, I have had 3 people reach out about needing help with marketing their busienss and/or putting together a marketing strategy for a new business.

I changed my strategy because I listened to the opinions of others.

BIG MISTAKE!

You cannot let anyone’s opinion (yes, even family) change what you are doing. You have to be committed to getting your message out there. There are people out there that NEED your help.

And if you’re not sharing your message…

You’re being selfish.

And I have been selfish by listening to my Mom & sister.

So I just did an Instagram video about writing this email, so I am trying to put their opinions to the side (easier said than done).

Also, I have made a couple health changes over the last couple weeks, because of what they told me.

  • I am now juicing daily — 3 servings of fruits, 3 servings of vegetables, flaxseed, almond milk & chia seeds.
  • I now wake up at 5:15 am (about an hour earlier than normal) and immediately take a walk around the neighborhood.
  • I am trying to get to bed by 10, so that I get 7 hours of sleep each night.

So I made a mistake by letting their opinions influence my message to the Universe. However, I also used their opinions to better myself.

Be careful of the opinions of others.

Whether that be from family, your spouse, your neighbor or the person you went to high school with 15 years ago.

I am looking at it as I went off course for a bit, but am getting back on track starting today.

Progress, not perfection is something my sister told me when she was in rehab in 2009, some of the best advice I ever done heard.

4 Words That Will Virtually Eliminate Your Competition

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It’s very simple to radically transform your business, but it’s not easy.

Huh?

I’ll get to that in a second…

A lot of business owners worry about the competition.

And I’d be lying if I didn’t do it at times, but have drastically improved in that area.

You could compete on price, service, guarantee, etc.

There are many ways to differentiate yourself. In the eCommerce space, a lot of marketers differentiate themselves on price, which is an eventual race to the bottom.

Same thing with service providers, they compete on price in hopes to win the “deal/contract/client”. And so many of them do this, which in turns, INCREASE their competition, at the bottom.

And I know this, because I battled to the bottom for YEARS. Selling a website for $79 ain’t no way to make a living!

The one way I have found over the last 9 months that attracts people to you like a moth to a flame is…

Be Your Unapologetic Self

 

It also have the power to repel people from you, AND THIS IS A GOOD THING!

<GASP!>

Yes, repelling people is an extremely powerful way to market yourself and your business.

It took me years to figure this out as I wanted to please everyone, I wanted everyone to want to do business with me.

So I colored inside the lines.

I kept my mouth shut.

Like marketing legend Dan Kennedy once said…

If you haven’t pissed someone off by noon, then you probably aren’t making any money

Remember, I said this was simple, not easy.

Here is how you can virtually eliminate your competition by being YOU…

>>> Share your beliefs with your email database, on your website and/or social media.

>>> Use your words/phrases/swearing (if that’s you) in your writings

>>> Share your opinions on topics

>>> Take a fucking stand for something you believe in!

>>> Tell stories about the bad times, as well as the good times.

>>> Share your fears, your hopes & your dreams with others.

>>> Share lessons you’ve learned over the years, or a lesson you learned that day.

Follow the above, and you’ll virtual eliminate your competition.

Like I babble about say often: it’s simple, not easy.

How to Increase the Effectiveness of Your Advertising By 383.4% (rough estimate)

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Go DEEP, not wide (sicko)

No, I ain’t giving you sex advice here.

My best advice there would be: “do as I say, not as I do”

Anywho…

In 2010, I was a brand spankin’ new business owner. Not an entrepreneur, but a business owner.

No idea what I was doing

Still feel that way, at times 😀

I had very little selling skills.

By “little”, I mean just about zero.

Well, except that time I sold weed in 2000, before I got busted 3 days into that “business venture”.

No joke, and that’s another story for another email.

In November of 2010, I was desperate for new business. ANY new business. If a business owner was willing to listen, I had what they needed….or so I foolishly thought.

I see people making this same mistake everyday (see image below)

This ad is calling out “women entrepreneurs — coaches, speakers, authors, consultants, experts and world changers”

That is A LOT of people.

This isn’t how you market effectively, online or offline.

And I know, because I did it for years.

And here is why….

The listed people above (coaches, speakers, authors, consultants, experts and world changers) all have different pain points & desires.

They all have different wants & needs.

They all have different problems they are facing.

You want to go DEEP (sex jokes aside 🙂

A better niche to target would be: first time authors.

First time authors have different problems compared to someone who’s published 6 books.

You could even go deeper and target: female first time authors.

Stop going wide, and go DEEP

Not only will your marketing/advertising slice through the noise like a warm knife cutting into butter, but it’s FAR easier to be a big fish in a small pond than it is being a small fish in a big pond.

If you’re a service provider, this allows you to command much higher fees as you are now looked at as a specialist, not a generalist.

Generalists fight for scraps at the $3 buffet

While specialists have Caviar for breakfast with champagne bubble baths (B.I.G.)